Unoffendable - Pastors Tim & Sharon

Unoffendable

Pastors Tim & Sharon Spirk

There is a freedom available to us that many believers never fully walk in.

It’s the freedom of becoming unoffendable.

Not because nothing ever hurts.
Not because injustice isn’t real.
Not because betrayal doesn’t cut deep.

But because we choose forgiveness over offense. Every time.

My Story of Forgiveness

Forgiveness is not a one-time sentence we speak. It is often a process.

Forgive until the pain is gone.
Forgive until you can bless them in your heart.
Forgive until you can release God’s blessing over their life without flinching.

It’s easy to recognize the big things that require forgiveness: betrayal, abuse, sexual sin, harm toward children. Those wounds are obvious. They are heavy.

Some of you are carrying things that feel impossible to release. You want justice. You don’t feel like they deserve mercy.

But neither did we.

Every person who has hurt us is a child of God that He desires to redeem. He has not made us judge. He has asked us to forgive the way He forgave us.

We all deserved death.
He chose mercy.

Unforgiveness and bitterness often hide in the deception of an offended heart. And sometimes it isn’t the massive wounds that trap us. Sometimes it’s the small, daily offenses that quietly root themselves deep.

Offense Is a Choice

Offense is not given.
It is taken.

And it is so easy to take.

Traffic.
Misunderstandings.
Different personalities or giftings.
Politics.
Denominational differences.
Church hurt.
Feeling overlooked.
Secondhand offense when someone we love is hurt.

Sometimes offense even grows from our own insecurity, our fear of not being enough, and the comparison that follows.

Love, according to 1 Corinthians 13:5, “is not provoked.” It does not hold grudges. It does not keep track of wrongs. It rejoices in truth. It bears all things. It endures all things.

Love is a lifestyle of forgiving and covering over a multitude of sins with mercy and grace.

Offense Is Dangerous

Offense defiles.

It can hinder prayer. It can poison relationships. It can block intimacy with God. It can create cycles of rejection, anxiety, and even physical or emotional illness.

It is always dangerous. It is never justified.

And we get to choose whether we take it.

The Five Deadly Elements of Offense

1. Anger

There is a difference between righteous indignation and unrighteous anger.

Righteous anger addresses sin and longs for restoration.
Unrighteous anger targets the person.

Anger that separates us from love is not from the Savior.

2. Judgment

Sometimes we disguise judgment as “discernment.”

True discernment carries a redemptive thread. Judgment carries a stone.

Jesus, the only One without sin, refused to condemn. He said, “Go and sin no more.”

Revival comes when we stop partnering with the accuser. Revelation 12:10 describes the accuser being thrown down, and with that comes salvation, miracle power, the Kingdom of God, and Christ’s authority.

We must examine the judgments we have made, because often we reap what we sow in our own hearts.

3. Unforgiveness

Unforgiveness is poison.

It hinders mercy flowing toward us. It corrodes the soul.

Be quick to forgive.

Where abuse has occurred, boundaries are necessary. Forgiveness does not eliminate wisdom. But sometimes “I forgive you, but I don’t trust you” can mask a self-righteous heart that resists restoration. Seek counsel when unsure.

4. Pride

Pride positions us above the one who hurt us.

Offense often puts us in a condescending place. We may not say it out loud, but we feel superior.

Pride goes before destruction. Harboring offense while justifying it is essentially saying we know better than a God of mercy and redemption.

5. Bitterness

Bitterness is unhealed pain.

Offense is the wound.
Bitterness is the infection that grows when the wound is untreated.

Ephesians 4:31-32 tells us to get rid of all bitterness and instead be kind, tenderhearted, forgiving one another as Christ forgave us.

Bitterness grows slowly. It starts with thoughts. Then words. Eventually it becomes a tree with fruit that is sharp, sarcastic, cynical, contemptuous.

Hebrews 12 warns that a root of bitterness can spring up and defile many.

You have the final say over what happens inside you. No one else holds that authority.

When bitterness begins to rise, it is a warning light. The engine light is on.

Forgiveness is the first step.

Forgiveness Is a Choice

Forgiveness is a decision to no longer hold an offense against a person or group.

When we have truly forgiven, we no longer need to keep rehearsing the story. We no longer need to keep talking about what they did.

What is stored in your heart will spill out of your mouth. What you are full of will either bless others or poison them.

Becoming unoffendable does not mean becoming numb.

It means becoming so rooted in mercy that love becomes your reflex.

And that kind of love changes everything.